OK, so I had a really bad cold, and instead of staying home and sleeping it off, which any sane, not my-cat-trying-to-get-that-bird-through-the-window stubborn, would have done, I went down to the fair where my wife and her youth group were at once running a snack bar and setting up a display booth for the competition, the prize for which was $100.
I was drafted to help put together the letters for the booth, and help table cardboard pigs to the fabric background (you really, really, had to be there) and since I have absolutely no artistic talent, I was given the one job I could not screw up, outlining the letters with black marker. These letters, and the pics, had been sprayed with glitter.
So as I worked with them, the glitter got all over my hands, and since I kept having to blow my nose, rub my eyes, etc, the glitter got from my hands to the kleenex and all over my beard.
We got the booth set up (my other talent is holding heavy objects over my head while people of various female persuasions fuss over fabric, hay bale placement, and what I am not referring to as “the glitterpigs”), and I was allowed ot go home to sleep it off.
I soaked in the tub, took a shower, shampood, everything I could think of, but the spray glitter had bonded to my hair and would not come out. So I shaved. And once I saw the season premiere of The Office, with it’s running goatte gag, I was really glad I had.
But I’m glad it didn’t get in the hair on top of my head, or I would probably be totally bald now.