Got back from vacation. It was a great trip. I got to see the side of my family I actually grew up with for the first time in over 13 years, which was incredible. We hadn’t all been together, at least all of us now in the family including spouses and kids, ever. What’s interesting is how many of these new people I’d already met online, so getting together in person for the first time felt really comfortable. Plus, the family reunion gets to continue on Facebook. It’s a strange, wonderful time we live in.
But the whole experience got me refocused on important things. Family, yes. And seeing what everyone else was doing with their lives inspired me to try and get more done with mine, which meant an examination of why I’m not accomplishing as much as I’d like to and I came to an uncomfortable conclusion: the problem is me.
While it’s true I have several cognitive challenges (snerk!) that complicate my ability to get shit done, I also am more than willing to let these things kick my ass far longer than is absolutely necessary. Working with my team of professionals, it has become obvious that one of my main problems is the lack of any imposed structure. Now, I may need structure, but I am pretty much unable to create and maintain it for myself. What I need is a caregiver. Or maybe someone like Charlie from The West Wing.
But I’m going to try. If I want a viable writing career I’m going to have to write a lot more than I do. A lot of it will be crappy, but in doing so I will get that crap out of my system and move on to better, non-crappy work. I also have a novel I’ve got to revise and get out there, mostly because my wife will kill me if I let this one get away and I let all that work go to waste just because I lost it in the second round. So, I need to come up with a schedule that works and get shit done.
Have I mentioned I have two children at home all day right now (see, there I go with excuses again)?
Anyhoo. The plan for the rest of the summer is to get myself on a regular writing schedule. A big portion of this will be simply getting my ass out of bed early enough to get a start on the day and not start out playing catch-up, as I am wont to do. I am lucky in that I really only need to get about six hours of sleep to be ok. This will also mean not caring that the house is messy as much as I do right now and maybe even getting the kids to clean up after themselves more ( I Know!). A couple of rabbits may starve to death.
I’ve been trying it this week and have revised two chapters and started work on a new short story, but this week is atypical as my wife is out of town and one of the kids has been outsourced to grandma’s. But if I can get a running start this week, it is my hope that it will carry me through until it all solidifies into something manageable.
Did I mention I also decided to start running again? This is not as foolish as it seems as running tends to rewire my brain and help me get more sense-making out of it. The time … I still haven’t worked this out yet.
But it’s good to have goals, right? And it’s good to quit falling back on those old reliable excuses and spend some time kicking your own ass before other things do. It’s the only way anything is ever going to happen.